So you found out Lululemon is a horrible company…

Before we get into the subject of Lululemon, I must address the notion that ‘corporations are people’. Corporations are NOT people—they are the result of people’s decisions. The whole point of them is to separate people from their decisions. They are meant to limit one’s liability. I’m an LLC when I teach yoga, because I don’t want an injury to cost me my house. If I get sued, I could lose my business. If I make bad decisions, perhaps I don’t deserve my LLC, and it goes under. But as a person who owns a house and some things necessary to live, I am protected.

Given that corporations actually separate people from their decisions, they are not sentient beings, nor are they comprised of sentient beings. In stating an argument, I do my best to never attack a person, but attack the validity of their idea or decision. So note I’m not attacking any person when I say that Lululemon is a shitty horrible business.

Done by Canadian grad students—about right. (click to enlarge)

We can start with the name itself, which pokes fun at the inability the Japanese to pronounce it (founder Chip Wilson “enjoyed making fun” of them). Chip also gave a speech on the merits of child labor. Or maybe you noticed the Ayn Rand bags.

So here you are—a buyer of over-priced items of foreign clothing Chip Wilson wishes were produced by 9-year-olds. You’ve always assumed those businesses making ‘yoga products’ would behave in an ethical and, well—yogic—way. You feel a guilt every time you put them on. What to do?

Throwing them away certainly doesn’t make sense. They are still usable. But you don’t want people to think you’re oblivious to the whole Lululemon thing, right? Certainly there are those who are either apolitical, or simply don’t bother thinking too deeply about this stuff. But you’re a thinker, you’re an activist, you’re a yogi!

Yoga Grump has a solution:

LULULEMOWNED!

Marking the lululemon logo in all black does three things: It gets rid of their logo, it allows you to use the clothing, and it makes a statement: “I purchased Lululemon clothing on the assumption the company was respectful of ethical tenets I hold dear. I am against Lululemon’s practices and no longer support them.”

LULULEMON WILL HATE THIS! If you just got rid of the clothing, nobody would say a thing. But a black dot on what appears to be Lululemon clothing? Now people will start asking questions. Knowledge and opinion will spread. You’ll get head nods from those in the know.

More and more people will realize they can’t trust ‘yoga gear’ to be ethical. The most yogic gear I know isn’t yoga gear at all—it’s Adbuster’s Unswooshers. Vegan, fair-trade, recycled tire treaded shoes? “Blackspots are the only shoes designed to give Big Business what it needs the most: a swift kick in the brand.”

Why hell yes. Kick the brand!

Published in: on January 19, 2012 at 5:17 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , ,

Were yoga’s ancient sages insane?

“Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful.” —George Box

Our “reptilian brain” is the deepest and most fundamental part of the brain used by all animals from reptiles on up the evolutionary ladder. It handles our automatic reactions—breathing, hormone and blood regulation, the startle response all initiate from the reptilian brain. There is no emotion here, only instinct, and it is out of our control. Reptiles and birds thrive with this brain.

More recent evolutionarily is the limbic brain, which mammals have used to their advantage. It does a fine job pairing the outside world with reproductive behavior and parenting. It’s the reason tigers and wolves are able to birth their offspring live and care for them. By contrast, alligators and fish lay eggs, and may often eat their offspring. There is an advantage to care for family, if only to perpetuate one’s DNA, and it stems from this brain center.

Finally we have the neocortex. Newest of the three but not necessarily the most advanced, it allows us fine motor-sensory-emotionally linked skills, as well as abstraction. It makes us human, all too human. This bastard is at the root of humans’ woes.

The neo-cortex is basically indistinguishable from plaque buildup.

Humans are not the logical conclusion of nature that inspirational quotes make us out to be. We are severely faulty. Elaine Morgan sums up many of our inherent physical faults in her book “The Scars of Evolution”: Goosebumps to fluff up fur that isn’t there; a spine that is horrible at being vertical; a pathetic sense of smell; a ridiculously placed larynx. There are a host of other ways we’re ill-equipped physically, and that may be why we’ve developed such a big brain—the brawn itself couldn’t cut it.

And our brain isn’t any diamond in the rough either. We are expected to reason, but our reasoning bends to our emotions, and emotions are things over which we have little control. The emotional brain is trained to respond to the external world in certain ways, and those ways become our habits well before adulthood. For a long time this worked well. Then we started to become self-aware, and aware of abstract notions—our neocortex came to dominate our skulls.

Genesis illustrates our evolution perfectly: Eden is the limbic/reptilian way of life, and the “tree of knowledge” is the dawning of the neocortex. That Adam and Eve bit the apple isn’t their fault. It was simply a natural result of their reptilian will to survive. I think it’s a stroke of genius that a snake guided them to the tree. Huzzah to the reptilian brain!: It’s efficient and effective at keeping any animal with it alive. Whether they are happy or not isn’t the reptilian brain’s problem.

That Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden elicits a stroke of compassion. Why? Because we’re social animals, and the thought of having only one other person to live with seems pretty harsh. Fortunately for our ancient ancestors this is a parable: as humans, we were always social, and it was to our advantage. As an aside, the rest of the Bible seems to illustrate what a hard time we’re having with our damn neocortexes.

"I wish we had like a board game or something."

We need people or we go nuts—literally. We don’t self-regulate, we co-regulate, even in matters as fundamentally important as breathing.

“Two studies, for instance, compared premature infants who slept with a standard teddy bear to those supplied with a ‘breathing’ bear—an ordinary stuffed animal connected to a ventilator and set to inflate and deflate at a rhythmic fraction of the baby’s own respiratory rate. The infants with the breathing bear later showed more quiet sleep and more regular respiration than those who slept with a static Winnie-the-Pooh. Regular sighs taught the preemies respiratory stability[.]“  —from A General Theory of Love

We need to be around breathers to breathe correctly! In the words of Drs. Lewis, Amini and Lannon, “[P]eople cannot be stable on their own—not should or shouldn’t be, but can’t be.”

So perhaps yoga’s sages weren’t the all-encompassing spiritual know-it-alls yoga publications will have you believe. Could it be that a select few of our ancestors had neocortexes advanced enough to be scared of their own acuity? Were these sages smart enough to enunciate their fears, yet be socially inept? And perhaps what we now call yoga was merely their retreat into isolation?

Jack Nicolson as Patañjali in "The (Skull) Shining"

Fight or flight cannot be decided upon: it is a reptilian instinct. Our neocortex bows to it. So if sages retreated into isolation as a fight or flight response, my guess is they had little reasoned choice in the matter. It was how their brain felt they could survive, given the fear of their own knowledge.

So here they are in isolation, with a brain designed to be around other humans. Did you ever try to use one tool to do another tool’s job? Everything goes as expected: A human will go insane, because a human cannot be stable on their own. Perhaps the yogis of their day spent so much time in isolation their physiological and psychological systems started to break down.

Here are some classical yoga techniques that show a will to be non-human:

-Khechari mudra involved literally sliding the tongue down throat, as if you were swallowing your ability to speak (and eventually your ability to breathe). Cutting the lingual frenulum and rubbing ghee on it is recommended for easier and further tongue sliding.

-Moorcha pranayama: The purpose of this breathwork was to induce fainting or swooning. You hyperventilate until you were light in the head. It was said to induce “a psychic state”. Here is what’s really happening: The decrease of CO2 in the blood ups the pH of the blood, which constricts the blood vessels leading to the brain. It’s like getting drunk, but cheaper. Escapism at it’s finest!

-Many poses listed in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika are named after plants and animals: There are poses attempting to emulate a cow’s face, a fish and a tortoise. Perhaps they were mimicking animals in an attempt to be as peaceful as the rest of nature seemed. The conclusions are more ominous with shavasana, which means corpse pose: Could a sage’s period of isolation result in thoughts like “I’d rather be dead”? Modern science has an answer for that: Yes.

"An otter...Maybe I'd like to be an otter."

Let’s look at Daoist interpretations of the world: The “no-self”, the void, the emptiness. It’s true you can logically deduce that nothing exists. We’re the only animals that would consider this proof significant. We’re the only animals with huge neo-cortexes walking around abstracting things, and allowing our reptilian brain and our mammilian brain to be at odds with one another.

Humans are social beings. Put anybody in isolation and eventually they will go insane. Yoga practices are becoming popular today because of the cubicle/car/paranoia-induced isolation modern humans are forced into.

Could this be the real reason pranayama (yogic breathwork) and other yogic techniques exist? Here’s a partial list of what happens in the body when people are isolated:

  1. Decreased REM sleep
  2. Immune competency decreases
  3. Increased anxiety
  4. Increased erratic aggression

Compare this list to what yoga has been proven to do: de-stress, help sleep, induce calm, boost immunity, and help with depression. Perhaps yoga’s legacy stems from those who were just doing their best to cope with the results of social isolation.

When yoga teachers teach breathing techniques, they might be teaching a classroom full of adults who are making up for years of lost breathing education, all because they slept alone in their infancy. We might be instructing someone with a desperate mammalian need to be around others. To spend a quiet moment in a room with other human beings may be the thing that keeps them sane. To have a common goal of spending another five breaths in a difficult pose with others doing the same thing, to feel accomplishment with others: This may be the most socially and psychologically meaningful part of their day.

So perhaps the sages were insane. But it doesn’t detract from their sagacity at all.

America will become an even more unhappy place unless we breathe and smile.

It’s a bummer of an experience, listening to Pittsburgh’s jazz station play their last week’s worth of on-air music before the big shift to an all-news format. I’ve met two of the DJs and know a few of the staff, most of which have been given their walking papers. There will be less art in Pittsburgh starting in July.

There is less art everywhere. I’ve recently watched ‘The Rape of Europa‘ which chronicles the Nazi regime’s interest in works of art. Part of Hitler’s plans were to build the world’s great art museum, and to acquire the works through theft and plunder. Much of the world’s art was in jeopardy for ten years during the 2nd world war, and ‘Europa’ gives an account of it.

In the second world war, the army sent a cadre of art historians, known as the 'Monuments Men' to Europe with the mission to save and preserve Europe's paintings, sculpture and artistically significant buildings.

President Eisenhower proposed, and congress passed, legislation to build America’s own National Gallery of Art. When I lived in DC, many weekends were spent walking through museums on the Mall.

I bring up the National Gallery because a question occurred to me during ‘Europa’: Can you imagine today’s congress passing a bill to open a public art gallery? Because that was the climate in 1937, in the midst of war. Perhaps we don’t have a wealthy industrialist bequeathing his formidable art collection to America (Mellon left his works to the National Gallery). However, in the middle of world war two, America recognized they needed something more than war and news. They needed art to contemplate and admire.

This unhappying happens all the time. Today’s arts organizations need to run like for-profit businesses. They no longer stick around by making art; making the sale keeps them alive. Arts programs are being cut in schools, whose main business is now churning out computational robots. Kids not only don’t think outside the box—they don’t even realize they’re in one. Kids also spend less time in green spaces, which is proven to calm the nerves and increase happiness.

Some other ways the world unhappies us: Yoga is no longer meant to put you at ease; it’s marketed to make you paranoid about your imperfections. The marketing of health food has resulted in brand new eating disorders. And the internet, with all of its connective power, has made everyone more isolated.

WDUQ’s format deterioration didn’t surprise me. It’s part of the unhappying. “But Yoga Grump, being informed is important!” To that I say “Is it?” What do you do with the information you get from the news? Because if you’re not making a positive change as a result, knowing the news is pointless. It’s what I call ‘empty knowledge’.

I have my passions and like to stay up to date on several things. But all news, all the time? Recall the last time you listened to two or more hours of news and were happy because of it. Now recall the last time you listened to music, or read fiction, or walked through a museum, and remember how you felt.

And consider how empty knowledge affects others. We all know the person who talks about all the horrible shit going on. They do it everywhere—over dinner, at a party, online or at work. If you don’t get unhappy on a regular basis, these people are shocking. Here I am wanting to converse about Heidegger’s ‘Being and Time’ (or whatever I’m currently reading) and someone barfs out “HEY HOW ‘BOUT THAT SHOOTING AT [wherever] OVER THA WEEKEND HUH?” It’s a bummer for four reasons: 1) the particular act is violent and its image is now in your head 2) you can’t do anything about it 3) any good conversation is temporarily impossible and 4) the person who told you this really does experience the world through these ugly things.

If you don’t know this person, you may be this person. I have some advice for you: Stop. Breathe. Smile.

Look like this for a little while.

That’s it. You don’t need anything specific in mind, although art and nature are great catalysts for it. Try these three things, and the facts in your head become less urgent. Your heart rate might slow down and your ass might relax quite a bit.

(And I don’t mean the ass-clenching comment as an attack on your personality: I mean it literally. Many people walk around with anxiety stored in clenched hip muscles, which can become painful to carry around. So seriously, learn to relax the gluteal and pelvic floor muscles with a gentle dose of breathing and smiling.)

Let what you know serve you, not kill you. I’ll be turning off WDUQ come July and looking for another organization to donate to. Support art, breathe and unhappy yourself less.

Published in: on June 22, 2011 at 8:39 am  Leave a Comment  

Many companies who sell us food act like jerks

Part of any yoga experience is awareness training. While practicing yoga you’re intending to be aware of everything from a leg stretch to your breath to negative thoughts and reactions. I’ve found that a practical ‘off the mat’ application of this training is commercial (or rather anti-commercial): I’m much more aware of when I’m being marketed to.

This awareness of marketing is very important when it comes to choosing the foods we eat. Companies that sell us food stuffs can be very conniving in how they sell product. Now that yoga has exploded as a business, all companies (not just yoga companies) are selling spirituality, bliss, and happiness.

But it’s the whole food revolution that has changed the vocabulary of marketers in sneakier ways. We’ve been forced to give some words a legal definition, most notably ‘organic’. Of course those who market unhealthy foods can’t use the legal terms, so they rely on the ones with no legal definition. A problem for us: There is no way to tell which words are reliable descriptions of the food and which are marketing bull. So Yoga Grump presents to you a few of them, considered to be -

WORDS TO UTTERLY IGNORE:

NATURAL: General Electric could legally market to me a 100% natural washer/dryer combo. Note how the percentage makes it look as if somebody measured and guaranteed the product’s naturalness with a naturalometer.

Natural Cheetos are still crappy Cheetos

PURE: Any cursory examination of samsara will convince you that nothing is pure, although the word ‘pure’ does have a century-old legal status. The misuse of ‘pure’ is also often accompanied by a three-digit percentage.

WHOLE: Well there’s an entire chain of stores dedicated to selling us ‘whole foods’ isn’t there? Fortunately for them there’s no legal meaning for ‘whole’, but here’s what it’s supposed to mean: the ENTIRE food, picked from a plant directly, and unprocessed. A quick glance at an average Whole Foods store reveals that whole foods (an entire tomato or banana for instance) can’t make up more than five percent of shelf space. Whole food indeed.

DRINK: This one is amazing. You wouldn’t buy something in a bag that was only labeled ‘FOOD’ would you? Yet consumers across the nation buy drinks (usually refreshing ones) without knowing what’s in them. ‘Drink’ has no legal definition aside from being liquid, and is probably being used because there are awful ingredients in the water they’re hocking. The height of this jerkiness are products labeled ‘juice drink’. Juice is so good! However, the word ‘drink’ immediately after it negates any real meaning – any term before the word ‘drink’ turns into a marketing description.

100% pure bollocks.

Any 100% pure and natural whole juice drink is 100% bollocks.

The word ‘organic’ has been given an legal definition. One might think the proper word for something that is not organic would therefore be ‘inorganic’. How surly is agribusiness? They’ve lobbied for the use of the word conventional. Conventional! Conventional food sounds like really great food, food our grandparents purchased, something usual, traditional, customary, etc. And people who don’t spend much time considering what they eat might think ‘organic’ sounds weird, so they’ll stick with conventional foods. Huzzah agribusiness!

Let’s take a peek at what may have happened to your ‘conventional’ groceries:

1) Your potatoes could have been doused with radiation.

2) Your tomato may have been fertilized with sewage sludge.

3) Your grapes may have been coated with pesticides, insectides, amoebacides, fungicides and even rodenticides (yes they may bait your grapes so they kill a mouse. Conventionally.)

4) Your rice may have been genetically modified to produce its own wonderful array of above toxins.

Conventional – food the way our forefather farmers used to till!

This labeling also established that the burden of proof is on organic farmers to prove their product is organic. Now this isn’t the worst thing in the world. Accountability is great. But I offer a counterpart to the organic labeling so we may be wildly informed consumers: Labeling exactly why a food is NOT organic.

Example – you go into the store and consider two types of green peppers: organic and conventional. “The organic one is pricey, why would I buy this?” you might rightly inquire. So you check out the legally required conventional label, which says ‘This product was genetically modified to be herbicide-tolerant, fertilized with sewage and then irradiated to kill sewage microbes that may have contaminated the product’.

Well that’s quite a decision-making declaration of facts! An extra forty cents for non-poopie peppers doesn’t seem so bad now does it? This type of labeling is called process-based labeling, which is becoming standard on labels anyway – information like ‘Eggs from cage-free vegetarian-fed chickens’.

As for all of the non-legal terms, I have another suggestion. Some of you may be familiar with homeopathic medicines, and the ubiquitous disclaimer on every bottle – ‘These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease’. I think the same thing should apply for all non-legal descriptors. There should be an asterisk next to the words ‘natural’ or ‘drink’ with the following disclaimer: ‘This statement has no legal meaning and does not describe the nutritional or process-based quality of this food’.

The power of information should be given to all of us, and it is, albeit slowly. Especially on a subject as critical as food and diet, may we all be informed and impervious to marketing.

The art of being Unresponsible

I am unresponsible and proud of it. My life is as carefree as I can make it. The demands of a 24-hour culture? Not felt! The drudgery of a work week – explain? Pining for a career I don’t quite have? Why, a career is about as useful to me as a chainsaw is to a goldfish.

It seems that being responsible is synonymous with the American Dream – if you’ve successfully pursued the Dream, you’re responsible. If not, your being immature or irresponsible. The Dream was intended to rouse all classes of people to participate here. If you are responsible, you win! You receive accolades from the American Dreamers Academy, otherwise known as ‘everything that is being sold to you’.

Dictates to ‘be responsible’ and to ‘act your age’ abound from moderately to wildly successful members of the American Dreamers Academy. A house, a career, STUFF – how is this not the Dream! And how dare you for not pursuing these!

And by the way, I’m not talking about the bygone “life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness” dreams. Gosh, nobody expects these anymore! A place to live where I thrive, am without bounds and can be gleeful if I choose? It doesn’t exist, not on the map at the American Dreamers Academy. These outmoded notions in our very own Declaration of Independence have been replaced by the Dreams of Abundance, Democracy of Goods, Freedom of Choice, and Novelty. The ADA teaches that your happiness is out there in a seller’s market.

You need a mortgage to graduate from the ADA. And what is a mortgage but (literally) a ‘pledge until death’? That doesn’t sound alive, freeing, or anywhere near happy. But it’s the Dream, you see – don’t think about it too deeply. You should really have kids – because really, you’re how old? And a career – do something (similar, every day for decades) with your life! Those who did not excel at the American Dreamers Academy hope it’s worth it. Those who’ve mastered the art of American Dreaming have no doubt!

Now if you’ve made a promise – purchased a house, had kids, entered into an agreement with someone – and break that promise, this is irresponsible. If you keep it, that’s responsible. But what if you never enter into an agreement? What if you’re not interested in starting these huge long karmic cycles? What if you do things differently, or just do different things? This is neither responsible nor irresponsible – it’s off the charts!

So the time has come to introduce the concept of ‘unresponsible’. We need a word like this in case a graduate from the American Dreamers Academy points their finger and yells “STOP IDLING!” “But Dreamer” we ask, “what is it we need to do? We haven’t entered into a contract with anyone. Truly, we are free!”

I enjoy my unresponsibilty. I even own a house (outright, no pledge until death) and maintain it. But really, it’s not that I’m responsible – I just don’t want to pay rent! How sweetly unresponsible of me! And what if someone wishes for kids, or pursues a passion that winds up looking like a career? Why, they’ve got the double-benefit of being both under the radar AND being unresponsible! The sweetest fruits are there ripening for them every moment of the day.

Yoga teaches that happiness is already there. Contentment. Truth. Self-Study. Are these not life-affirming freedom-making things? I wish to be responsible to them – it’s why I teach yoga. It’s not a contract – it’s an assumption, and I’m a willing participant.

So it’s time for the unresponsible revolution, which already has well-sown seeds. Doing things because it makes you and others alive, free and happy. Treat money as one type of energy among many, and use it for good. If you have ties that bind you, make your way out of them. Responsibly, of course.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 62 other followers